CRAMMING!

Monday night was the last study night for almost all the kids. Tuesday was the last day of exams before winter vacation. All except Kattia, Argentine, Stephanie and Alex, who didn't finish until that Friday. I was not much help with the math, or sciences... not really my strong point!
but we had a few really productive English study sessions, and it was nice just to have a bunch of the girls all in my room sitting on the floor and helping one another.
As an end result all but 2 of the boys passed, and I am not positive about the girls...but it may have been a 100%...need to check into that though. But what smart, and driven children we have!!!
It makes me proud to see their report cards, even though I did very little to help them succeed - I still feel as though they have jumped a large hurdle and I am proud of the work that they did!

First Day Feelings -

December 17th, a Monday I am scheduled to leave Boston at 5:30AM... and of course I am freaking out about being late because of bad weather - and my forever loving and understanding family leaves Salisbury at 2am to get me to the airport... of course I was early. I am thankful they understand the anxiety and deal with me!!
when I left Boston it was cold, and snowy, and recovering from three back to back days of snow... at 12:30 that afternoon I landed in PAP, it was about 85 degrees and sunny.
As the plane pulled onto the landing strip a sudden weight was lifted from my shoulders, it was not like the first time I had flown in and was nervous and unsure, this day I was confident, excited, and felt like I was returning to my second home!
When I got in the airport, it was nice to speak Creole and be able to ward off the unneeded porters looking to help me with bags, and it was nice to be able to understand the immigration agent, but I was reminded of how nervous I was the last time I made this trip - when I knew I was walking into a situation where I knew NOTHING!
to walk outside and see Lamarres smiling face was amazing.but walking down the hill to Bolosse.... seeing the boys on the roof, waving outrageously, screaming "Nikki" I felt complete. Then to walk into the girls courtyard, and have them come running and screaming (ok...we were all running and screaming too) and jumping up and down, and hugging, and kissing. It was an amazing feeling. I was thinking about mothers, when they give birth to a beautiful little baby after 9 months of waiting and longing to hold them.... then the moment that they are in your arms for the very first time. I imagine I wont understand that feeling until I am there, but I can imagine its like every wish or desire you ever had, every need every void, was filled by this beautiful God gift. I think going back to Haiti, feeling like I am really where God wants me, seeing the children after 4 months, and jut being able to finally hug them....its a God gift too. and I thank God for the understanding of unconditional love that he has given me through this experience, from which has grown a never before understood respect for my mother and Noah.

it's not all roses going back though - for some unexplained reason I had a handful of teenagers who wanted nothing to do with me, and although I forced hugs, kisses on the cheek, and a Bonswa, the relationship is a little bit lost. In time, and without explanation it worked itself out - they are talking again, we had some great conversations later on in the trip. Another new found respect for my parents...dealing with teenage attitudes! Even the most amazing teenagers, feel lost, scared, lonely, and grumpy, and have not the means to express it - so it comes across as attitude!! Thank you mom and noah, a million times for teaching me patience, by example.

prayer point I learned from this experience: pray that God will reveal His plan to others and that they may receive it - because the fullness and gratitude are amazing gifts. pray that God continues to work in the hearts and relationships of the kids, that they learn to trust, connect, feel love, and in turn learn to reciprocate love. The sad truth is that many of the hfc kids have histories that few could endure, and they are wounded, the good news, that God has provided them with amazing healing, strength and perseverance

Sweet Sixteen??

I got up this morning and went to church, it was great to see everyone again. Great to be able to tell people about the kids, about Merger, about my amazing connection with Kez, it was great!! and God is so good - because the service was wonderful, exactly the message I needed to hear today, and I almost felt like God put some of those words on Mike's heart, because I needed to hear them. And I am so greatful.
then I came home, and both my roomates are gone, its cold, and I am missing the children in Haiti, and feeling lonely. I am missing having constant contact, and someone to play with and talk to. My cell phone is currently out of commission- so with very little outside world contact I sat on the couch with the ever loyal cat and cried.
"My Super Sweet Sixteen" is a show on MTV that I rarely watch...but you know how people talk about train wrecks - I think it goes that its awful but you can't help but watch it. Well that's how it is, this show is full of 15 year old kids, with more money than anyone person needs and they get hundred thousand dollar cars and and spend tens of thousands on parties. It amazes me, and makes me realize how different life can be from one person to another. It also reinds me of our 7 15 year old children at the pension that would never ask for a BMW, or Usher to sing at their birthday party just because they turned 16. But children that would be forever thankful, and joyful to have a family.
I decided to use my time more wisely and started to think about other things, besides adoption...what can we do to get these kids to the states. When I talk to families I know, they are scared of adoption, and in the last 2 weeks I have had 4 different people tell me they would love to host, but can not adopt. so without adoption what other opportunities are there? the answers are not super clear to me yet - but I am continuing looking into options, and doing more research. There are organizations that run exchange programs, in which students can attend school in the states. Student Visas. and some other options.... tomorrow I start writing letters to get permission from hfc to try these things, calling organizations to get hfc on their lists, and friends who are willing to host.

please continue to pray for these kids, for adoptive families, and for alternate opportunities for those who dont have that option. we have some children who are dangerously close to 16, some children who are on the verge of loosing a chance at a family and a way to the United States, and for them, and our already 16 year old children I feel burdened to find another option, a second opportunity.

Back!

hi y'all!
I decided recently to utilize y'all because in Haiti the Kreyol language abbreviates everything!!!
so I wanted to thank everyone for the prayers and support, I am now home enjoying seeing some family and friends, yet missing the children, and Haiti....
and really not looking forward to heading back to work and classes! blah
I have a lot to blog on - and lots of pictures to share...but not a ton of time right now to do it.
upcoming topics to look forward too are -
*first day feelings
*CRAMMING - last days of exams
*Bryn's first trip to the American market
*I believe God gives us friends as little reminders of His love
*LaVille...a shopping endeavor like no other!
*Merger
*Christmas Eve in Thomassion
*Christmas in Haiti... true reminders of Christ
*Continue to eat Haitian pate...despite this post!
*December 31st
*Soup Jamou!
*Immanuel Team
*my life be like... soccer games and pedicures!
*January 5th, heading back to the states


please continue to pray for transitions for me and keziah, tranquility for Bryn, adjustments for Myriam who has just recently come to the states, my roomate as she begins her part time job with hfc, all our kids that are so quickly approaching 16.

blessings
n-